Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Elena Kagan Looks Like…

Solicitor General/ Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan looks like...

- Paul Blart Mall Cop’s homosexual sister

- A heavy-set Brendan Fraser in drag

- Something that would need to hibernate for a few months in the winter

- E. Honda from Street Fighter 2

- The warden at a women's prison

- The kind of gal that would work up a sweat while consuming a Grand Slam from Denny's


Elena Kagan looks like...

- She might have a lair in the sewers of Gotham City

- She could pass for a Fruity Pebbles spokesperson if she wore a bright orange dress with brown triangles

- The title character from Mrs. Doubtfire 2 starring John Goodman

- A notorious crime lord from the planet Tatooine

Elena Kagan looks like...

- A woman with an excessive amount of cats

- The kind of gal that would organize monthly Tupperware parties

- The kind of gal that would ring your doorbell at 8:42AM on Saturday asking for donations to the Bedford County Environmental Bureau

- The kind of gal that would be happy to take to a message for you if Dr. Swanson is not available

- A lady that really knows her way around suburban New Jersey’s Real Estate market

- The Treasurer at an Elementary School PTA meeting who turns down every idea because of budget constraints

- The woman who works in the gardening department at Wal-Mart on Route 46 and claims that the best part of her job is the employee discount

- A Veterinary technician who spends her free time doing Sudoku


Elena Kagan looks like...

- The cow that got lowered into the raptor paddock in Jurassic Park

- A former Supermarket Sweep contestant

- The first baseman on a women’s league softball team would need to leave a game early because of painful bunions and sore cankles

- A Jew

- The kind of gal that would own a parakeet

- The kind of gal that would have all 11 seasons of Fraiser on DVD

- The kind of gal that enjoys listening to Michael Bolton, Barry Manelow, and Yanni


Elena Kagan looks like…

- The kind of gal that drives a purple Saturn with Trisket crumbs embedded into the seats

- The kind of gal that would send out Christmas cards of herself and her golden retriever Charles in matching sweaters

- The kind of gal that would have a Barbra Streisand commemorative plate collection

- The kind of gal that would fill her home with paintings by Warren Kimble and Norman Rockwell

- The kind of gal that always claims to be on a diet but never seems to lose any weight

- The kind of gal that would be in a lunch time “walking group”

- The kind of gal that would have a blog dedicated to her silly anecdotes from weekend chores, and her endless struggle with chocolate addiction

Followers